dianora2

Nothing like some West Wing picspam as an alternative to pre-pre-pre-game programming, right? Tonight is 2x04, "In This White House," which introduces the character of Ainsley Hayes. Used a lot of quotes in this one for some reason. It's a quotable episode.

Caps by screenmusings.net and

_jems_.

Sam is appearing on Capitol Beat with everybody's favorite c-lister, Ted McGinley. Sam is disappointed that his scheduled sparring partner is unable to appear, and has been replaced by some blonde chick.

Here is said blonde chick, Ms. Ainsley Hayes, although she would probably prefer Miss. She's a little nervous. Ted patronizes her accordingly.

Sam is off to his usual righteous start, talking about an education bill.
SAM: Because it buys things the teachers need. Like textbooks. In a fairly comprehensive study that was done, an alarmingly high number of teachers - forty percent of teachers in Kirkwood, Oregon, for instance, and Kirkwood, Oregon being a fair model for public school districts across the country - forty percent of the teachers in Kirkwood, Oregon report not having sufficient textbooks for their students. The package offered by the Republican controlled Congress offered a grand total of zero dollars for new textbooks.
TED MCGINLEY: Ainsley Hayes? Is that true?
AINSLEY: No, it's not.
TED MCGINLEY: Is Sam Seaborn lying?
AINSLEY: Lying's an awfully strong word...
TED MCGINLEY: Do you --
AINSLEY: Yes, he's lying.

AINSLEY: The bill contains plenty of money for textbooks, Mark, and anyone who says otherwise is flat-out lying. And we should tell the truth about textbooks. Textbooks are important, if for no other reason than they'd accurately place the town of Kirkwood in California and not in Oregon.
SAM: *hopes no one's watching*

"Toby. Come quick! Sam's getting his ass kicked by a girl!"

Press briefing. CJ talks about an imminent summit to broker lower HIV/AIDS drug prices for poor African nations.

Toby apparently feels CJ wasn't being unprofessional enough.
TOBY: You might have mentioned that the same drug that costs ten dollars and eighty cents in
Norway, where nobody needs it, costs ninety dollars in Burundi, where everybody needs it.
CJ: There is nothing keeping these people here but good will, Toby! They can charge what they
want for their products.
TOBY: It sounds to me like we intend to be soft on the drug companies.
CJ: Toby, I don't think anybody expects this White House to be anything but tough on American
companies showing a profit.
TOBY: Damn right.

Now it's time to mock Sam for a little while.
CJ: Sam! I've really gotta admire the way you came into work this morning, head held high.
SAM: And I appreciate your being the one person who's managed to abstain from heckling me.
CJ: No problem. There's a whole bunch of women over there. Why don't you ask them whether Geneva's in Switzerland or Oregon?
SAM: Okay! Me and you, twenty questions, short answer, general knowledge test, right now!

As she walks away from mocking Sam, CJ is stopped by a newbie reporter who asks her questions about an energy company possibly selling drilling equipment to Iraq in violation of sanctions. CJ responds that grand jury investigations are secret so she can't say anything. And if you're thinking that was probably a blunder on her part, you're totally right.

Bartlet saw Sam get creamed by Ainsley on TV and now he wants to hire her. Because god knows the main qualification to work at the White House these days is that you look good on TV.

But before we can get into that further, it's time to meet with President Nimbala of the made-up country of Kundu about getting cheaper AIDS drugs. Etc.

OK, now we're back.
BARTLET: Charlie, I want to hire a woman whose voice I think would fit in nicely around here,
she's a conservative Republican. Do you think I should do it?
CHARLIE: Absolutely, Mr. President. 'Cause I'm told that theirs is the party of inclusion.
LEO: See? Charlie just made a joke to you in the Oval Office. That's how bad an idea it is.

But Bartlet is the president, so he gets his way. Later:
BARTLET: Charlie.
CHARLIE: Yes, sir.
BARTLET: When they close the book on me and you, it will say that at this moment you were not
there for me, and for that, obviously, there'll be some kind of punishment.
CHARLIE: Well, you could sing Puccini for me again, Mr. President. We'll call it even.
Also: kinky!

I mainly like this cap because Donna's hair is swishy. Anyway, the point is that Sam is now paranoid that everyone is saying something snarky about him. Hey, it's not really paranoia if everyone IS making fun of you.

Leo takes Sam and CJ out into the hall to tell them he's hiring Ainsley Hayes.
LEO: I wanted to tell you this out where there were people so you wouldn't scream about it.
CJ: Scream about what?
LEO: The woman who was on Capitol Beat with Sam Sunday night.
SAM: What about her?
LEO I'm offering her a job.
SAM: Where?
LEO: Here.
CJ: Are you kidding?
LEO: No.
CJ: Are you kidding?
LEO: No.
CJ: Are you kidding?
LEO: No.
CJ: WELL, WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU THINK I WOULDN'T SCREAM WHERE THERE ARE PEOPLE?

In our weekly exposition, Josh explains to Donna how drug costs are prohibitive in Africa seeing as how, you know, the average salary of a police officer in Kenya is $34 a month. Hey, we have a couple of Senators who think that's a perfectly reasonable salary for anyone.

Toby and Josh try to do good, which is not always easy where capitalism is concerned.
TOBY: I think President Nimbala's saying that there's more money in giving a white guy an erection than curing a black guy of AIDS.
Well, yeah. OK, this is depressing. We're moving on.

Margaret announces Ainsley, and wants to know if she should stay in the room just in case something happens. Oooh, Margaret/Ainsley cage match!

LEO: Were you offered coffee or something to drink?
AINSLEY: Yes, the woman who works out there, who I imagine is your secretary, offered me coffee
or something.
LEO: Okay.
AINSLEY: She was also kind enough to ask for my coat.
LEO: Excellent, and...
AINSLEY: She seems to be a very good secretary.
LEO: She'll be happy to hear that, she's standing right outside the door.

Anyway, Leo offers Ainsley a job, and Ainsley is all OMGWTF.

CJ is not having a good day. Man, I wish I had a couch in my office.

Sam is all, buck up, little camper. Then demands to know if Carol is saying something snarky about him. *pets*

Ainsley is on a tear. "This White House stands for everything I am against, you are teh evo1, blah blah blah patriotcakes."

Leo is all, whatevs.

There are few things hotter than Josh and Toby having a spirited discussion, no? Toby is being hardcore about the drug companies, while Josh tries to look at it from a realistic legislative perspective. I'm sure that dichotomy shocks you. In any case, they both agree they need to help out Nimbala.

Gratuitious Ginger cap.
TOBY: They didn't have cheese.
GINGER: What is it?
TOBY: It's boysenberry.
GINGER: A boysenberry danish?
TOBY: It's new.

Ainsley is wandering in the press room for some reason and newbie reporter spills about the grand jury investigation into the energy company. Ainsley raises an eyebrow. Metaphorically, I mean.

Toby and Josh are still fighting the good fight, but it's not easy.
DRUG GUY #1: If tomorrow we made AIDS medication free to every patient in your country, as much as they needed for as long as they needed it, it would likely make very little difference in the spread of the epidemic.
JOSH: Why?
DRUG GUY #2: Anti-HIV drugs are a triple cocktail. It's a complicated regimen that requires ten pills to be taken every day at precise times. Two protease inhibitors every eight hours, two combination RTI pills every twelve hours.
JOSH: What's the problem?
TOBY: They don't own wristwatches. They can't tell time.

Josh kind of sums it up.

Ainsley goes to tell CJ that she was stupid about letting slip the grand jury info. Only she says it nicely, to show that not all Republicans are evil.

I wish I had a bike machine in my office.

Toby and Josh tell Nimbala that they can get him a deal if he agrees to use his full resources to stop black market drugs from entering his country. Nimbala feels as if he is begging for his life, but he agrees.

Josh and Sam greet the new girl, only she's not the new girl yet.

Ainsley gives a self-righteous speech that invokes the episode title. "You think because I don't want to work here it's because I can get a better gig on Geraldo? Gosh, let's see if there could possibly be any other reason why I wouldn't want to work in this White House? This White House that feels that government is better for children than parents are. That looks at forty years of degrading and humiliating free lunches handed out in a spectacularly failed effort to level the playing field and says, 'Let's try forty more.' This White House that says of anyone that points that out to them that they are cold and mean and racist, and then accuses Republicans of using the politics of fear. This White House that loves the Bill of Rights, all of them - except the second one."

Sam goes all cold and quiet and says this is the wrong place to talk about guns right now. I love how Josh is all, "Please don't drag me into this." (Yet classily does not say a word.)

Ainsley basically responds that Sam doesn't like people with guns. This is what is called a straw man argument, because it is not all people with guns Sam doesn't like, it's people who use guns to kill other people. Aaron, if you're going to try to give an alternate viewpoint, can you make it a little more cogent?

But enough of the petty bitchery, because Kundu has been coup d'etated. Yes, I just made that into a verb.

Nimbala wants to fly home and Bartlet is all, you're crazy, they'll shoot you as soon as you step on the ground. Nimbala stands firm.

"We think your brother and your two sons are already dead. We think your wife is being hidden in Kenya. You understand, don't you, why I can't offer military assistance?"

AINSLEY: *melts*

Ainsley's Republican friends make fun of the West Wingers and call them worthless. Hmm, someone wearing that tie shouldn't throw stones.

AINSLEY: I said don't say that. Say they're smug and superior, say their approach to public policy makes you want to tear your hair out. Say they like high taxes and spending your money. Say they want to take your guns and open your borders, but don't call them worthless. At least don't do it in front of me.