dianora2

How's this for a surprise? I said I was going to keep doing these and I meant it. Life has just been....well, you know. But I've been wanting to do one for a while and since my plans for the evening fell through (damn broker), I figured this was as good a time as any. So tonight we have episode 2x14, "The War at Home," which is essentially a continuation of the previous episode.

All caps from screenmusings.net.

Leo catches the president toking up, I mean, smoking a cigarette, and Bartlet exposits for us that it's only been three hours since he gave the State of the Union. I promptly go back to my last picspam to try to remember what the hell happened.

Oh yeah, there's some stuff with DEA agents being held hostage in Colombia and Aaron Pierce from 24 is there. Oh my god you guys, you know what I just realized that I didn't notice in the last picspam? Aaron Pierce's character's name is JACK. THAT IS AWESOME. Hee. Anyway, there's some squabbling over whether they should move in the rescue team or see how negotiations go.

But Bartlet is concerned the guys might be tortured (you mean torture is bad? Who knew?), so he gives the order to make it so. Actually, he just says "Go," he doesn't pull a Captain Picard there or anything. That was all me.

Hey, remember that subplot about the cop accused of police brutality? The subplot I got bored with last time? It's still going on. Yeah, I don't know either. Apparently he's going on a morning show, whatevs.

And because Ted McGinley was a gentleman, he gets the exclusive. Congratulations, Ted. And thanks for not killing this show as you have killed so many others.

Some senator from North Dakota is pissed about the Social Security stuff that was in the State of the Union so he wants to have a meeting with Toby to yell at him about it. Toby reacts pretty much as you would expect. But Sam went ahead and scheduled the meeting already! He can be a sneaky customer sometimes, that Sam Seaborn.

Toby then runs into CJ, who's reading the State of the Union post-mortem.
CJ: The Post is calling it "sleek, challenging, and often times witty." Not unlike myself.
A nice line, though I hope the Post wouldn't actually have said "often times witty" instead of "often witty," because that's just bad writing, AARON. Anyway, Toby is pissed about the police officer thing but I am bored. He exposits for us that Josh is still at the polling center.

And, here we are. Suddenly I am not bored, I wonder why. Donna is needling Josh about Joey Lucas.
DONNA: Can I tell you something about women?
JOSH: Oh God. Please don't...
DONNA: They like to be wooed.
JOSH: Donna!
DONNA: She wants you to ask her out, Josh.
JOSH: She really doesn't.
DONNA: You're missing the signs.
JOSH: I'm really not.
DONNA: I know a thing or two about the ways of love.
JOSH: No, you don't.
DONNA: You're missing the signs.
JOSH: I'm thinking of firing you.
DONNA: You fired me twice already tonight. I'm impervious.

In more important news, Joey decides it's too late to bother picking up the polling now anyway, so they'll do it again tomorrow. Man, I hope the pollers are going to get paid double, because that's pretty lame.

DONNA: By the way, right there, back when she said, 'see ya?' That was a sign.
JOSH: You're fired.
DONNA: Impervious!

Bartlet is playing chess with himself and Leo comes over to kibitz. Don't you hate when people do that?

MRS. LANDINGHAM: Did you ever solve the mystery?
CHARLIE: Of the $500 check?
MRS. LANDINGHAM: Yeah.
CHARLIE: Yes I did. I solved the mystery.
MRS. LANDINGHAM: Well, what was it?
CHARLIE: I'm a mystery solver.
MRS. LANDINGHAM: That's wonderful, sweetie. What was it?
CHARLIE: Mrs. Bartlet wrote the check to a woman she read about in the paper who's now living in
a battered women's shelter. You know why the woman never cashed the check?
MRS. LANDINGHAM: Because it was from the First Lady and she had it framed instead?
CHARLIE: Yep. That was the mystery.
MRS. LANDINGHAM: It's a good one. Does the President know he has breakfast with Josh and Sam?
CHARLIE: He's on his way.
MRS. LANDINGHAM: Good.
CHARLIE: It was a good mystery. I just think you solved it fast because I loosened the ketchup
bottle up for you.
MRS. LANDINGHAM: Okay.
(This is so Gus I can't stand it, by the way. Tune in to Psych starting July 18!)

Josh thinks it's weird that Donna isn't jealous of Joey Lucas. Sam thinks Josh is weird. I think they're both stupid boys.

SAM: She goes out with guys. Are you jealous?
JOSH: No.
SAM: See.
JOSH: I don't get jealous.
SAM: So?
JOSH: I don't like it and usually do everything within my considerable capabilities to sabotage it.
SAM: Yes.
JOSH: Which is why it's curious that Donna would do nothing to discourage and in fact do everything to encourage a date with Joey Lucas...who, quite frankly, is a very attractive woman!
SAM: Josh?
JOSH: Yeah.
SAM: You know your voice just got really high at the end of that.
JOSH: Yeah, sorry.
DIA: Stupid boys.

Bartlet comes in and orders the waiter to have the chef whip up some eggs for Josh and Sam, and I include this just because I think that is the GREATEST THING EVER and whenever I see this scene I indulge in a little fantasy of having a private chef to make me pancakes whenever I want. I have a rich inner life.

Anyway, Bartlet has a bug up his ass about the war on drugs because of the situation in Colombia, so he wants Josh and Sam to wave a magic wand and solve it. I guess you can do that when you have a guy who makes you eggs any time you want.

After leaving breakfast Sam is greeted by Ainsley, who is looking quite fetching and retro, and who wants another chance to meet the president, seeing as how she was drunk and singing and wearing a bathrobe the first time. Don't worry, Ainsley, I'm pretty sure that's the same way he met Leo.

Toby is having a breakfast of his own, with Senator Gillette, portrayed by Ed Begley Jr., star of... well, star of St. Elsewhere. Okay, okay, some other stuff too. He was Sam Sitwell on Arrested Development, so you gotta love him for that. Anyway, Begley is all P.O.ed because he wants to push through his own Social Security reform bill that no one likes, and threatens to run as a third party candidate. Oh, Ralph Nader. I mean, Ed Begley.

Toby is all "I am your liberal nightmare!" and dares him to do it just so Toby can then pwn his ass. Not that Toby would ever use the word pwn, though I would pay to hear that.

Remember how Abbey was all pissed last time about the running for re-election stuff in the speech? Yeah, she's still pissed. Bartlet is a total douchebag in this scene, by the way.

ABBEY: I don't think it's a good idea for us to talk about this now.
BARTLET: Why?
ABBEY: 'Cause you've got to focus on Colombia.
BARTLET: I can do two things at once.
ABBEY: You don't have two things at once, Jed. You have ninety-two things at once and one of them is five hostages in Colombia.
BARTLET: Yes and I'd like to go about my day without this black cloud around me so I'd like to talk now!
ABBEY: And I'm saying this is a longer conversation than that. And I don't want you all over the place and we can talk about it later and you should focus.
BARTLET: What are you, my Zen master? Can I be in charge of my own mind?!
ABBEY: Let me tell you something, jackass! Get as chippy as you want if that makes you feel better. I am your wife... I love you... you have a crisis... you have to deal with it. When it's done we'll talk.
BARTLET: I feel better already.
Seriously, the way he says that last line makes me want to punch him in the face.

Meanwhile, Josh is in a hellish hold world of holding as he waits to find out if the power is back on at the polling place.

Donna plays the part of the audience and wonders why these numbers are so important. It's because they're polling five districts where the congresspeople are on the fence about the gun bill Josh wants to pass, so if it polls well in those districts the congresspeople might actually bow to the will of their constituents. Wow, it would be nice if our current Congress did that once in a while.

I love this dorky look on his face.
JOSH: Why are you trying to fix me up with Joey Lucas?
DONNA: I think you'd make a nice couple.
JOSH: Fine.
DONNA: If you got married you'd be Joshua and Josephine Lucas Lyman. You wouldn't have to get your towels re-monogrammed.
DIA: You are both pathetic. No wonder I had to spend all that time forcing the two of you to have sex.

Ainsley is nervous about meeting the president again. She still looks good though.

LEO: How you doing, Ainsley?
AINSLEY: I'm concerned about peeing on your carpet.
LEO: Okay. Well... now I am, too.
SAM: Tell her it's going to be fine.
LEO: Your skirt's on backwards.
AINSLEY: May I use the bathroom?
LEO: Yes.
AINSLEY: Thank you.

I don't have a cap of her going into the closet, but I love the expressions on their faces here as they watch her do it. Hee.

BARTLET: Where is she?
SAM: Well, she's in the closet, Mr. President.
BARTLET: Why?
SAM: She thought it was a bathroom.
BARTLET: Why is she still in there?
SAM: That's kind of hard to say, sir.
Hard to believe she left this show to be on the most popular show in the world, eh?

BARTLET: Why were you in the closet?
AINSLEY: I had to pee.
BARTLET: They won't let me smoke inside but you can pee in Leo's closet.
Oh, he's also glad to have her in board and is sure her father is proud of her. Yadda yadda yadda. Let's face it, this scene is all about the funny.

From humor to pathos: The rescue team totes walked into a trap and got killed. Ooops.

Bartlet storms outside and throws a good old-fashioned hissy fit, kind of like I do when they don't put the right amount of butter on my bagel in the morning. Hmmm, I think one of us may be over-reacting, but I'm not sure who.

Bartlet finally calms down enough to talk to President SANTOS of Colombia on the phone. Santos offers to set the drug lord in prison free as the terrorists are demanding in order to free the hostages, but Bartlet says no. Hmm, apparently Colombian Santos is just as much of a pansy as the American version.

Bartlet argues with Sam and Toby about whether or not to let the drug lord out of prison. Bartlet and Toby say no way, and Sam says let the guy go free. I'm sure that shocks precisely no one.

Aaron needs to lecture us a bit more about it, though.
DONNA: Of course I say get 'em home. Who doesn't say get 'em home? That should be the person who has to make the phone calls to the families.
JOSH: And who calls the families of the nine commandos who just died trying to save five guys it turns out we could've freed six hours ago?
DONNA: That's not a good enough reason.
JOSH: The good enough reason is you give in to terrorists it gives them a pretty good incentive to keep terrorizing.
DONNA: Not negotiating with them hasn't given them much of a disincentive.
JOSH: How do you know?
DONNA: Please...
JOSH: You don't think they're going to kidnap another five people tomorrow morning and demand twelve months of free cable?
DONNA: So you give them free cable.
JOSH: How about the keys to the Situation Room?
DONNA: You draw a line.
JOSH: Where?
Well, I'd draw it at the free cable. Do you have any idea how much cable costs these days?

So now we know where our guys are but we don't have enough firepower currently at the ready to take out the terrorists. There's some sort of prescient comment to be made there but I'm too tired to make it. Bartlet has to decide whether to send in an ass-kicking load of troops.

Time to face another enemy, the old ball and chain! Hey, do you remember that this episode is called THE WAR AT HOME? SO SUBTLE OMG.
ABBEY: Do you get that your own immune system is shredding your brain? And I can't tell you why. Do you have any idea how good a doctor I am and that I can't tell you why?
BARTLET: I've had one episode in two years.
ABBEY: Yes, but relapsing-remitting M.S. can turn into secondary-progressive M.S. oftentimes ten years after the initial diagnosis which is exactly where we'll be in two years! Do you know what that's going to look like when it happens?
BARTLET: I know what it's going to...
ABBEY: Fatigue... an inability to get through the day...
BARTLET: Look...
ABBEY: ...memory lapses... loss of cognitive function... failure to reason... failure to think clearly. And I can't tell you if it's going to happen. I don't know if it's going to get better I don't know if it's going to get worse. But we had a deal. And that deal is how you justified keeping it a secret from the world. It's how you justified it to God. It's how you justified it to me.
(You know, I was not a fan of the whole MS relapse in season seven or whenever it was, but after reading this I feel just a little bit better about it. Just a little bit.)

But they can't come to terms and so Jed has to watch her go.

The numbers finally came in! And Josh isn't happy about them. But it's 2 in the morning and Donna wants to go home. She's selfish like that.

And speaking of watching someone go... Oh, Josh. *pets him*

(Ha ha ha I love her expression here.)
JOEY: You don't know what these numbers just told you. I'm an expert. I don't know what these numbers just told you.
JOSH: We know.
JOEY: Really?
JOSH: Numbers don't lie.
JOEY: They lie all the time. They lie when 72% of Americans say they're tired of a sex scandal, while all the while, newspaper circulation goes through the roof for anyone featuring the story. If you polled a hundred Donnas and asked them if they think we should go out, you'd get a high positive response. But, the poll wouldn't tell you it's because she likes you. And she's knows it's beginning to show and she needs to cover herself with misdirection.

JOSH: Believe me when I tell you that's not true.
I love the look on his face here, desperately trying not to give anything away when he's screaming in terror beneath the surface. Also, it's amusing me how much of the J/D shipper lexicon was taken from this episode.

Joey Lucas is better than you.

Charlie is checking on the president. It's not important, I just wanted to have another picture of him in this picspam.

As usual, Leo makes everything better.
LEO: I fought a jungle war. I'm not doing it again. If I could put myself anywhere in time it would be the Cabinet room on August 4, 1964, when our ships were attacked by North Vietnam in the Tonkin Gulf. I'd say, Mr. President... don't do it. You're considering authorizing a massive commitment of troops and throwing in our lot with torturers and panderers. Leaders without principle and soldiers without conviction with no clear mission, and no end in sight. This war is at home. The casualties are in our prisons, and not our hospitals. The amount of money the American government is spending in Colombia is the exact same amount American consumers are spending buying drugs from Colombia. We're funding both sides of this war, and we'll never win it that way.
BARTLET: Leo, I can't possibly reverse our --
LEO: No one --
BARTLET: I can't possibly reverse our position on negotiating --
LEO: No one's gonna know. You don't make another phone call, it happens someplace else. Santos is gonna be the one to let him out.
BARTLET: There were just 14 people in this room who heard Santos make me the offer.
LEO: Those 14 people keep bigger secrets than this.
(I love that this episode comes just three episodes before "17 People.")

And so, as CJ gives a press conference announcing that Santos, acting on his own authority, released the drug lord...

... Bartlet goes to Dover to greet the fallen soldiers. Guess which president doesn't do that anymore? GO AHEAD, GUESS.

This shot makes up for him being jerky to his wife earlier. Long live President Bartlet!

In a weird bit of synergy, a bunch of icons from this episode were posted to